Grieving & Mourning 2.0
...Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Matthew 10:16b. (NKJV)
When you join a "club" that no one wants to join, you realize rather quickly that the life as you once knew has changed dramatically. Every area of ones life is affected emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes financially.
Imagine having to figure out how to navigate grieving/bereavement as a teenager. Unfortunately, that was my reality at the age of 16 and again at 19. When there isn't a person in your circle who can come along side you & has gone through such an ordeal, you are at a loss of what to do and what "healthy" *grieving looks like.
Sometimes people say or do things that unintentionally exacerbates the griever's trauma because they are at a loss of what to say. Please know that words are not always necessary. A squeeze of the hand, a hug, I'm praying you, I have never been where you are, but I am praying for you...all of these are acceptable. Today, I am sharing a few things that should NEVER be said to a person whose loved one has transitioned.
- "I know how you feel or I understand." Only say that if you have had a loved one pass away of the same relation as the one they are grieving. You can only know if you've experienced that same loss.
- "It just must have been his/her time." Really?
- "It must be for the best." Says who?
- "They are in a better place." That is not helpful.
- You should be over it by now or why are you still grieving?
- There is no manual, time table, or certain way to grieve or mourn. Everyone is different. Please respect their process. That would be appreciated more than you know!
BLESSINGS!
~CWP~
*Reminder: Grief is the loss. Mourning is the public expression of that loss."
** Photo by Sara Ghasemi on Unsplash
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